Book Review: Inconceivable – Super sperm donors, off-the-grid insemination and unconventional family planning

Inconceivable: Super Sperm Donors, Off-the-Grid Insemination and Unconventional Family Planning
By Valerie Bauman
Published by Union Square and Co
ISBN-10: 1454957239, ISBN-13: 978-1454957232
Buy this book from Amazon UK

Valerie Bauman, an investigative reporter at Newsweek, has authored a new book, 'Inconceivable: Super Sperm Donors, Off-The-Grid Insemination, and Unconventional Family Planning', which details her journey of becoming a single mother by choice. She effectively engages readers as she navigates unconventional family planning and why she chose the route she did. This book is part memoir, part informational; she details the historical, scientific, legal, and cultural contexts surrounding assisted reproduction in the USA as she relays her experiences navigating these herself.

This book is a recommended read for those who are interested in learning more about off-the-grid insemination in the USA, and why people have been choosing to go on their own to procure semen outside of donor clinics and the medical industry. There are many reasons for this trend, including cost: IVF in the USA costs approximately US$40,000 (£31,243).

Bauman writes that 'it's estimated that only 24 percent of Americans who need assisted reproductive technology get the help they need,' due to the cost of treatment.

Another reason people seek off-the-grid insemination is mistrust of the medical industry. This is especially true for people of colour, due to a lengthy history of abuses, including forced sterilisation in the early 1900s of approximately 100,000 women. LGBTQ+ folks are also more likely to face discrimination and refusal of treatment by medical providers when trying to navigate becoming pregnant. There is also obvious price gouging to access care, some clinics require patients to pay higher amounts up front than what their patient responsibility is, then the overage only gets refunded months later.

Bauman writes 'Why are doctors being gatekeepers to our ability to realise our dreams of motherhood?'

Many women and non-binary people looking to navigate becoming parents will resonate with much of the personal trials and tribulations depicted in this book. The emotional rollercoaster, the need to advocate for oneself over and over, to navigate unsavoury behaviour online, from predatory harassment to 'ghosting' and everything in-between. It is unsurprising that within the freelance donor realm online, there are men seeking 'natural insemination' or penetrative sex, even coercively, under the guise of altruism. From judgmental medical providers to outright discrimination and refusal of treatment, the emotional and intellectual labour of the people looking to conceive is so real.

A person navigating this has 'survived a hundred little infertility heartaches, dozens of financial panics and a constant reminder of her body's failures'.

Another aspect of this book is the legal, ethical, and cultural pitfalls surrounding 'super sperm donors'. Super donors are those who have donated their semen to others, eight or more of those who have then birthed children. Some super sperm donors have as many as hundreds of donor children. The regulations around donor frequency and tracking how many children have been born are severely lacking. There is no US national database, men can go from one clinic to another and continually donate sperm. Clinics themselves also often share specimens across the nation and even internationally without the donors or recipients being aware of this. There are many legal pitfalls and cautionary tales detailed in this book but suffice it to say there is much more regulatory work to be done, particularly in the USA.

Bauman documents her experiences through this complicated, emotionally taxing, expensive journey and she provides useful insight and criticisms. This book is thorough in its research and depiction of the world of unconventional family planning. The personal perspective kept it grounded, vulnerable, and incredibly raw. The information and sheer saga of the journey is useful for others who either have, are considering, or who are curious about obtaining off-the-grid insemination.

Buy Inconceivable: Super Sperm Donors, Off-the-Grid Insemination and Unconventional Family Planning from Amazon UK.