Male Order is an eye opening ten-part series on BBC Radio 4, hosted by Dr Aleks Krotoski. Dr Krotoski speaks with a variety of recipients, donors, and experts to uncover what it's really like to find a sperm donor online.
When you use donated sperm from a licensed fertility clinic in the UK you know the donor will be screened for sexually transmitted diseases and known genetic conditions. You also know that the maximum number of families that will be created from his donations is ten. Dr Krotoski highlights throughout this series that you have none of these guarantees when you source donor sperm from the internet.
So, why do people use online donors if it's so risky? In Episode 1: A Shadow Network, Dr Krotoski mentions that many online sperm donors offer their services for free. In my experience working in UK fertility clinics, a donor sperm treatment cycle can cost several thousand pounds. Many people simply cannot afford these fees so it's not surprising that many recipients are going online when looking to start their families.
Another reason that recipients opt for online sperm donors is that they do not agree with current law in relation to donor anonymity. In the UK, a donor is anonymous until the child's 18th birthday, when the child can receive a name and last known address of the donor. Though this identity-release model may suit some, others don't want it to be that way. In Episode 1 and 2: Boundaries we are introduced to intended parents MJ and Milo, and Alex a donor. They are keen for the donor to have a relationship with the child. Under current guidelines this would not be possible through a licensed clinic unless they used a known donor.
In my opinion, a family framework where the donor has a relationship with the child could prove beneficial as research published in the journal Fertility and Sterility has highlighted the benefits of a child knowing they are donor-conceived, and also the benefits of a child having access to their biological parents, as highlighted in the journal Aloma.
Another aspect of online sperm donation covered by Male Order is the idea of unbalanced power dynamics. In Episodes 3: Red Lines, 4: Power Plays, and 5: Culture of Fear, Dr Krotoski examines the power that donors hold over recipients and how this can lead to uncomfortable situations and even sexual assault.
In Episode 3, Dr Krotoski states that donors will sometimes tell recipients that 'natural insemination' (NI) (intercourse) has better success rates than 'artificial insemination' (AI) (semen inserted into vagina without intercourse). However, this is not true; AI and NI have similar success rates. Unfortunately, recipients may not know this and have intercourse with the donor when they otherwise might not.
In Episode 4 and 5 we are told the stories of Claire, Veronika, and Meredith. These women found themselves in uncomfortable situations with sperm donors where they were pressured into sex, with some even experiencing sexual assault. Claire went to the police about her experience and the donor was given nine months in prison for his actions. It's sickening to think that women are being taken advantage of in their efforts to start a family.
In Episode 6: The Donors, Dr Krotoski interviewed four online sperm donors. The opinions of these donors ranged widely, with some being comfortable telling their friends and family about their donations whilst others were not. Equally, some of the donors exclusively offer AI whilst others offer NI if the recipients request it. It's interesting to see how opinions can vary even within the donor community.
In Episode 7: Donor Unknown we meet Louise, who belongs to the first generation of children born through licensed donation. She found out that she was donor conceived at the age of 13 and found it very confusing. Louise joined groups hoping to find her biological father and found her donor plus a half-sister. This episode highlights the importance of keeping the child in mind when considering using donor gametes.
Episodes 8: The Tools We Use, 9: Who Guards the Guards?, and 10: A Better Way? discuss the platforms that donors and recipients use to meet one another. Many people source a donor via Facebook groups that are run and moderated by donors. Dr Krotoski points out that this means the donors have all the control and it can be difficult to police the groups and verify people's identify. She mentions that the law is lagging behind the internet. I agree and think new policies should be introduced to protect recipients online.
Male Order has taught me the reasons why some people source donors online, and the risks and struggles they may face when they do. In my opinion, we need to revisit the costs associated with donor treatment cycles to make them more accessible in licensed clinics. We should consider the option of deanonymising donors. If the donor and recipients both agree to stripping the donor's anonymity, I can't see what harm it could do.
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