Podcast Review: Happy Mum Happy Baby – Freddy McConnell

Guardian journalist and writer Freddy McConnell was 30 and yearned to start a family. However, for him this ordinary desire came with unique challenges: he is a queer transgender man. His journey through transitioning, conceiving and carrying his own two children is told in one of the latest Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast episodes to be broadcast, in which he is interviewed by Giovanna Fletcher.

Fletcher kicks off with a reference to Seahorse, the documentary directed by the acclaimed filmmaker Jeanie Finlay, that tells McConnell's story from preparing to conceive through to giving birth (see BioNews 1016) to his first child. McConnell recalls the vulnerability and the sense of loneliness that characterised that incredibly sensitive time of his life. I thought his story was very touching, I could really empathise with his struggles originating from the lack of community and support network available to him as one of the first trans men to give birth in the UK.

It was really clear how important and meaningful it was for him to be able to share his pregnancy experience through this documentary and give voice to the other invisible 'seahorse dads' around him and for those to come. What really came as a shock to me was the sudden realisation that he is obviously not the first and only trans man giving birth, in Britain and worldwide, but that there is such a huge stigma surrounding parenthood for trans families that they are barely or not spoken of at all.

McConnell then opened up a little about his childhood and how he felt growing up as a trans man in a small, conservative city on the southeast coast of England. He talked about his experiences growing up with gender dysphoria and the resulting battle with his mental health for most of his early childhood and youth because he was so uncomfortable in his own skin. Until, that is, when he finally made the decision to transition: he started taking testosterone at 25 and had a mastectomy to remove breast tissue.

McConnell had thought about having a baby before transitioning, but the urgency he felt to start the transitioning process was overwhelming. He recalls signing the consent form to start testosterone and being told it would leave him infertile. McConnell's account again reveals another general misconception surrounding trans men and pitfall in the healthcare system where trans men are still not being given the full, accurate (and non-judgmental) information about their reproductive options, including how they can carry their children safely, and it's assumed that they don't want to.

After discovering that there were trans men in America who had carried their own babies, in 2017 McConnell tried intra-uterine insemination (IUI) with donor sperm, which resulted in conception the second time he tried. While this was a very fortunate event, he recalls how he had to be off testosterone while conceiving, which was very hard for him. He recalls feeling completely empty, his hormones swirling. He almost hid the first pregnancy because of concerns that he might have been ridiculed or subjected to violent or negative reactions. While the idea of such public backlash seems unthinkable and unacceptable to me, figures reported by the Guardian for England and Wales indeed recorded a massive increase in sexual orientation, and particularly transphobic, hate crime offences for 2018, which made me better understand and empathise with McConnell's fear of showing his pregnancy. During this time of extreme fragility, talking to people going through similar situations was the only thing that helped him feel less alone.

Four years later, McConnell became pregnant again and it was great to hear that he went through a completely different (and more positive) experience: the trans community had grown bigger and the general public was more aware and supportive. As McConnell had previously failed in his legal bid to be listed as his first child's father on their birth certificate (see BioNews 1017, 1045 and 1073) he then outlined how he had planned to give birth in Sweden instead of the UK in order to be listed as the child's father, rather than mother, on the birth certificate. However, McConnell ended up going into labour early and giving birth in the UK.

The podcast tells a fascinating, moving and tender story about love, family and the complexities of gender identity. McConnell's humour and lightheartedness while telling his story make the podcast extremely entertaining. However, hearing what McConnell went through raises some flags that deserve attention and consideration: it is clear that neither our health system nor our society is currently providing adequate support to sustain people like McConnell, who are undergoing major physical changes during transition and pregnancy in both their body and mind.

Furthermore, it is evident that very little scientific research is devolved to the study of reproductive options for trans people, maybe because there is an underlying negative bias attached to them or no awareness that such a topic is relevant to more people than we may think. This podcast is a real eye-opener for anyone interested to know more about the unheard ones, that sit in the shadow and who rarely are given the chance or feel safe enough to share their story with us, which makes this podcast a rare and precious testimony.

Fertility preservation, for trans people and other groups, will be discussed in detail at PET's Annual Conference Making Fertility Treatment Fair: Equality in Access, Equality in Outcome?.

This conference will be held online on Wednesday 7 December 2022. Find out more and register here (scroll down and click/tap on the conference title).