Who wants a millennium baby anyway?

The media have gone millennium baby mad. In Britain and around the world, newspapers, radio stations and television networks have been falling over themselves to make the most of the chance to conceive the first child of the millennium.

The UK's ITV television channel offered us Birth Race 2000, a series of programmes designed to raise our libido. The BBC, meanwhile, broadcast a collection of programmes aimed at our brains rather than our groins. The Millennium Baby programme last Wednesday offered advice on conceiving as well as commentary on everything from the mothering gene to baby-making techniques in the next millennium.

But whilst the networks were cashing in on a great scheduling opportunity, others were calling for caution. The UK Family Planning Association launched a rather patronising poster campaign, reminding us that 'A baby is for life, not just for the millennium'. Fertility expert, Lord Winston, has said that he finds the whole thing rather distasteful. He pointed out that 'for so many people in Britain the real problem is actually having a baby at all'.

But, according to news from Italy, the infertile should not feel left out of millennium baby fever. Dr Severino Antinori is offering IVF to couples having difficulty conceiving, timed to produce a baby ready for 1 January 2000. Antinori is reported to be offering elective caesarian sections on the night.

The remarkable thing about the great millennium babies debate is that it seems to be going on despite a considerable lack of punters. Although the Royal College of Midwives expects a 20 percent increase in business on the labour wards at the New Year, very few people have publicly voiced any interest in planning for a millennium baby. One hotel in the Norwegian mountains offered 20 free rooms for the afternoon to couples wanting to conceive a baby for the New Year. The Norlandia Hotel management were rather disappointed when only four couples pitched up for their free stay.

The millennium baby is little more than a media invention. It was fun while it lasted, but it is certainly nothing about which to get hot under the collar. Who would want a millennium baby anyway? I for one am looking forward to waking up in the new millennium to nurse my hangover - not a new-born baby.