Book Review: A Journey Through Male Infertility – Stronger together

A Journey Through Male Infertility: Stronger Together
By Pip Reilly
ASIN: B0G8LX5FBJ, ISBN-13: 979-8275862652
Buy this book from Amazon UK

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According to the bio on the back cover of his book, Pip Reilly has worked in mental health and counselling for over 30 years, with a specific focus on fertility and in particular the challenges for men. As such, I was excited to read this book and keen to learn from his experience in this area.

Along with the book, I received a flyer which explains that the objective of Reilly's book is to be an accessible guide, shedding light on the relational, emotional and physical challenges men often face, which are often unspoken. The book claims to be full of practical support strategies to provide clarity and understanding and hopes to empower couples and remind them that 'they are stronger together'.

So, the question is, did it live up to the expectation of its expanded title: 'A Journey Through Male Infertility, Stronger Together, A Book for Men that Women Should Read'

I should add that since the front cover suggests that it is 'a book for men that women should read', I did share the book with a 'woman' I know who experienced fertility treatment with her male partner and valued her opinion. I also took the opportunity to show it confidentially to others in my counselling circle merely to get a wider response to the look, feel and layout rather than the content.

What was okay

It is short. The book itself was short, the chapters were short and it was easy to read and understand. That said there were many times when it seemed there wasn't enough information and I was left feeling a bit short changed.  

It is a book about male infertility. This is important, as a book supporting men is fairly unique so immediately has its place and hopefully will be read, valued and helpful (ideally once it's been better edited and updated).

The chapters and flow are in good order, taking the reader through the fertility journey from diagnosis, emotional impacts, fertility tests, treatment pathways, coping strategies and support networks. It does at times come across as overly simplistic though.

You can read it in order, chapter by chapter or hop to any part you want.

There are some science bits for those interested in learning and understanding a bit more around the technical side of certain diagnoses, fertility, eggs, sperm and fertilisation.

My female reviewer enjoyed the chapter comparing how men's and women's brains are wired differently and suggested that knowing this it could help heterosexual couples be more understanding of how they manage the same experience in different ways.

There are some 'self-help' suggestions and a variety of methods to develop and increase resilience and manage stress.

A glossary of terms at the back was useful.

What fell short

The book is self-published and while it has taken effort, the lack of editorial input is very apparent.

The front cover along with all the illustrations inside the book would benefit from a review and new approach. Everyone independently felt the book was from the 1960s or 1970s rather than anything modern day.

Throughout the book there is no diversity represented which is not a reflection of any clinic or practice I or my colleagues have experienced. The book seems very focused on white heterosexual couples, which I found incredibly disappointing and concerning.

The first three sections of the book are extremely frustrating (Contents, Preface and Introduction) because they are all saying the same thing – explaining the content of the book and what each chapter will deliver. The initial chapters continue this theme too, commenting and reflecting on what had already been written and reminding us that we'd already read it previously. The irony is, that even after such annoying repetition there is still a glaring mistake, consistently advising that Chapter 13 is about the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) when in fact this is Chapter 14.

Each chapter shows an image (a man holding his head in his hands or a couple looking very sad or holding hands/hugging each other) and underneath are 'quotes and affirmations'.  While I can see why the author has placed them, these really weren't required and I couldn't help but feel I was being led down the yellow brick road to a 'they lived happily ever after' conclusion, which I found somewhat infantilising.

Sadly, important elements have been missed. In my practice I hear from many men who are considering a testicular sperm extraction (TESE) or micro-TESE and neither of these procedures was mentioned in the book, which I felt was a huge omission. There is a chapter offering men's support groups, though for some reason the two prominent men's groups available right now have been omitted (testhim and The Male Fertility Hub).

Also, I was concerned by the section stating that anyone considering the use of donor gametes through HFEA licensed clinics are offered mandatory implications counselling. This is not wholly accurate. While the 'offer' of counselling is mandatory, taking it up is not required unless in very specific circumstances. Once again, a good editor with knowledge of the fertility sector would address this.

Finally, while I understand why the book on many occasions suggests men seek support and guidance from their GP, medical doctor or fertility clinic I feel he spends too much time promoting their support and misses a golden opportunity to really support the agency of men and their partners by elaborating much more about the benefits, guidance and advice from urologists and andrologists as these are the experts in male fertility and we know men can often feel let down by others who are not as specifically trained (see BioNews 1354 and 1344).

It might also be my own counselling background, but I am incredibly aware that everyone who sits in front of me has their own past and this informs how they react, respond and manage all news, adversity and life challenges presented. I appreciate it's difficult for a self-help book to address this, but it can comment on it.

Conclusion

It is clear that Reilly is experienced and has been dedicated to supporting people through fertility diagnosis and treatment and this feels very much like a legacy piece for him to put out there. I feel if this is a book that's going to be heavily promoted and wants to be well read, it needs to be of the highest quality and while there might currently be some merit to the book and its content, on balance there currently appear to be too many deficits, absences and editorial updates required to fully endorse it at this time.

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Buy A Journey Through Male Infertility: Stronger Together from Amazon UK