Book Review: Nuclear Family

Nuclear Family
By Kate Davies
Published by Borough Press
ISBN-10: ‎‎ 0008536619, ISBN-13: 978-0008536619
Buy this book from Amazon UK

Though the Christmas Day revelation that the man that raised you is not your father may be a well-rehearsed trope in the world of soap operas (and increasingly tabloid newspapers), Nuclear Family by Kate Davies is anything but typical. It is a book that is simultaneously accessible yet confronting, with themes such as family, identity and sexual identity explored with depth, nuance and humour.

The book tells the stories of three main characters: Lena and Alison, twin sisters, and their father Tom. The worlds of all three are rocked when Lena buys her sister and father genetic testing sets as last-minute Christmas gifts. This leads to Tom to reveal in a panic, that he and his late wife conceived their daughters using a sperm donor. The book proceeds with chapters written from the alternate perspective of each character as they process this information and its ramifications – for not only themselves, but also their relationships with family members, both living and yet-to-be conceived.

For Lena, the news is catastrophic. She feels as though her life and sense of identity have been tipped upside down by the revelation that Tom is not her 'real' father. She feels that he acted selfishly both at the time of her conception and ever since. Though her reaction is at the more extreme end of the scale of possible feelings, it is easy, at first, to feel for Lena.

There is a tangible shift, however, when her feelings towards her father affect how she discusses the issue of Alison's family plans. She and her wife are planning to conceive using a sperm donor and are considering the possibility Alison's wife will donate her eggs to facilitate this.

At this point both she and the reader are confronted with the wider reality of Luna's feelings: that they delegitimise not only her relationship with her father, but also the castigation of the many, often same-sex, parents who conceive using donors. This tension between her feelings and the experiences of the various LGBTQIA+ characters of the book are an interesting theme throughout and force the reader to reflect on how the personal and the social implications of assisted reproduction can be reconciled.

Meanwhile, the clash of the sisters' perspectives continues as Lena wishes to look for biological relatives, whereas Alison does not. Though both perspectives are eminently understandable, it is at this point that the book takes an unexpected turn. Concerns about donor siblings inadvertently meeting and falling in love have been raised for some time now – not least in the wake of real-life stories of 'super' sperm donors who are said to have fathered 100+ children (see BioNews 1227).

This has inevitably given rise to concerns that with no regulatory guarantees that those children will be told about their genetic origins (Alison and Lena being case in point) they will not be able to identify their biological half-siblings, and may unwittingly develop romantic feelings if they do meet (see BioNews 1232). This concern is based on the assumption that the parties would meet not knowing that they shared DNA. So, what happens when donor siblings meet and it becomes clear that one party who is in the dark over their genetic origins, develops these feelings? The inclusion of this heavy taboo feels slightly out of step with the rest of the book.

Though challenging, the other storylines mostly evoke sympathy for the characters involved. Even if their situations are not relatable at a personal level, it is possible to imagine yourself questioning your life and family relationships if placed in their shoes. Allowing your half-brother to pursue a romantic relationship with you, as Luna does after she sets out to discover genetic relatives, is perhaps the exception to this. The rationalisations remove the reader, for a time, from the story.

That being said, if the 'ick' factor can be put to one side, the storyline does reinforce that being told that you are donor conceived, particularly later in life comes with emotional complexity. Lena's borderline crippling desire to be liked by her previously unknown half-brother temporarily pushes against her instinct against intra-biological romantic relationships – not least as she continues to emotionally and psychologically process the fact she is related to him at all. Again, therefore, this book is deceptive: on the one hand, an easy and commercial read, on the other, deeply provocative.

Though Lena and Alison's donor conception is the central thread of this book, it is not always dominant. Multiple other storylines are woven in. From Lena debating whether she wants a child at all to the gender-expansive Alison wrestling with whether her desire for a baby could possibly outweigh the difficulties of carrying one. Each storyline is dealt with in a sensitive – but raw and relatable – manner. The findings of key academic research are subtly interwoven making the book not only a compelling story of human emotions but also genuinely informative to those with an interest in alternative family formation. It could even be helpful for those confronting the question of what makes a family, and how can this be done, themselves. Just as this is not straightforward, nor is this book.

Buy Nuclear Family from Amazon UK.