Book Review: You Came From My Heart

You Came From My Heart By Brenlee Coates and Roberta Landreth Published by FriesenPress ISBN-10: ‎‎ 1039121535, ISBN-13: 978-1039121539 Buy this book from Amazon UK

'Our story is a little bit different than some families/so I'll tell you the truth from the start' goes the prologue to this deceptively small book (it runs to all of 18 pages from cover to cover), written by Brenlee Coates and illustrated by Roberta Landreth.

Written for the author's daughter Lark, it offers a unique and highly personal representation of lesbian parenthood, which is both specific to her family and more widely resonant to the experience of other same-sex families. In particular, the parent who does not carry the pregnancy (Coates) may want to fill in some of the questions the young child might have.

Where previous story-books have sometimes chosen to zoom in on the sadness of life before the child's arrival, with implicit messaging that the arrival of a baby has mended the unspoken hurt of childlessness, this book stands out in its strongly celebratory depiction of life before children; this is not an infertility story.

The reader is invited on a journey that encompasses the time before the baby's arrival, narrating the wonderful times her mothers have had together and the life they have built. There are festivals, dinners with friends, swimming with turtles. What child would not feel delighted and privileged to take her place in this happy tableau of family, friends, holidays, and celebrations?

The narrative is kept to simple couplets, which emphasises the message of joy but above all establishes a strong sense of identity and safety. I could imagine a child chanting along to the narrative, as children will, until they inevitably learn it by heart, losing none of their enthusiasm for it over subsequent months and years (as anyone who has introduced their children to 'Farmer Duck' can attest).

The artwork is a thing of beauty in itself, with warm indigo and terracotta illustrations of big, gorgeous, twinkly night skies, adventurous seascapes and frosty winter walks that suggest a bigger picture beyond the family unit, a safe but magical world waiting to be discovered and explored. I wanted to dive into these pages. There is a strong sense of place (in this case, Winnepeg, Canada).

The illustrations depict a very specific kind of lifestyle, certainly, one of relative affluence and ease, leaving the cold business of clinics, insemination and thwarted dreams of pregnancy very much out of the picture. It is about living life with curiosity and optimism, banishing fear and anxiety. This is as it should be, tonally, and for the child reading it.

The questions will come anyway and honouring the intention to tell the truth 'from the start' opens up the space for those gradual conversations that take place between inquisitive toddlers and parents, laying down and narrating the family origin story over a long, long time to come.

This story, as discussed, is very specific to Coates' own circumstances and to her own situation in Winnepeg. Beautiful to look at, it has a fairy story element that will appeal to adults and children. Its production is also an implicit acknowledgement that the stories around conception are diverse and cannot be neatly categorised in terms of LGBT representation or hetero-normative ones. 'You Came from My Heart' has a core message that all parents can relate to and all children can be reassured by.

Buy You Came From My Heart from Amazon UK.