TV Review: Born from the Same Stranger

The first episode of ITVX's new four-part documentary, Born from the Same Stranger, was both engaging and moving in its brilliant portrayal of Liam Renouf and Sarah Smith, two donor-conceived people embarking on journeys to find their anonymous sperm donors.

The similarity, yet contrast, between Renouf and Smith's stories was my favourite feature of the episode. Their stories follow the same trajectories: telling their mothers about their desire to find their donor, using direct-to-consumer DNA testing and matching websites, discovering half-siblings, and ultimately identifying their donors. However, their stories take unique twists and culminate in different endings, highlighting the individuality of each journey.

The episode also covers the recent significant law change surrounding donor anonymity. People conceived via donation after 1 April 2005 have the right to access some identifying information about their donors upon turning 18, which they started to do at the end of last year (see BioNews 242).

Both Renouf and Smith were conceived in the 1990s before the law change, so can only access non-identifying information about their donors. However, recent advances in genetic technology, home DNA testing and matching websites and social media, allow access to more information than was possible before about their donors, another important theme of the programme.

Renouf is introduced first. He was born to a single mum and has known since he was a child that he was donor conceived.  He travels to the clinic where he was conceived and is read a brief statement provided by his donor, describing their characteristics and personality. This is the first real information he gets about his donor, and he acknowledges the similarities he sees with himself. Renouf, an only child, also finds out that his donor contributed to multiple births, meaning that he has half-siblings! His emotions are evident from the start, and stick with you throughout.

Next to be introduced is Smith, who only found out she was donor conceived four years ago. Smith has a Singaporean mum and British dad. When Smith's parents found out they needed a sperm donor to conceive, they chose to use a British one, to mimic their dual-nationality. As they lived in Singapore, they needed to transport the sperm from a British clinic, and Smith finds out it was her aunt that travelled with a container of sperm in between her legs. Smith proclaims that her first ever flight was business class!

Smith is also given a non-identifying description of her sperm donor, which does not satisfy her. Both Renouf and Smith upload their genomic data onto direct-to-consumer DNA testing websites in efforts to identify their donors, and the most intimate moments in the episode are watching their live reactions when viewing their matches.

For Renouf, there are no matches for a donor, but a match with three half-siblings. Within hours he has contacted them and makes a sibling group WhatsApp – I imagine this must be one of the most dramatic WhatsApp groups additions one can have!

An incredibly heart-warming part of the episode was watching Renouf and his newfound siblings interacting. The natural warmth, connection and sense of shared experience between them was special, considering they were strangers only days before. Renouf expresses it is what he's dreamt about his whole life.

For Smith, the direct-to-consumer genetic testing website leads her straight to her sperm donor and she now she has to decide whether to make contact, 'another Pandora's box' as she describes it. As Renouf's donor isn't on the same websites, he seeks the help of a specialist genetic genealogist, Rachel King, who builds a family tree and identifies two brothers, one of whom, is Renouf's donor. Using his own internet investigations, Renouf is able to identify which brother is his donor, and now has the same decision- should he make contact?

This represents is a major fork in the road for Renouf and Smith's experiences. Smith contacts her donor, whereas Renouf chooses not to. He feels content enough with his new sibling relationships, a beautiful end to his journey.

A final surprise comes in the response from Smith's donor, who informs her she has 15 half-siblings! Unfortunately, as none had uploaded their genomic data to the websites Smith has accessed, she has no way of knowing who they are, and will have to keep logging on to the sites in her search. This felt like a sad ending for her story.  

I hope this episode will bring comfort to other donor-conceived people embarking on similar journeys. It highlighted ethical dilemmas faced by Renouf and Smith throughout, including their empathy for their donor losing the anonymity they had been promised when they donated. They were also clear they were unsure type of relationship they have a right to with their donors, if any relationship at all.

This series provides viewers a variety of perspectives on donor conception: not only Renouf and Smith's, but also their mums, half-siblings and the wider community of donor conceived people who are shown giving snippets of their journeys.

The perspective missing is that of the donors, who donated under the guise of anonymity before the law change. I was left wondering what their opinions were, about the possibility of now being identified through advances in technology.

I will continue to watch the remaining episodes in this series to hear the other stories surrounding donor conception and I highly recommend you do the same.